From the outside it’s easy to think that someone’s cut off from the outer world living in an isolated environment, without knowing their circumstances and mental condition. I tried to explain to somebody how it feels inside my head putting my fears and embarrassment aside to see how it would feel like and how the listener would respond. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ADHD almost 8 years ago and every day was a new and a different story. In hopes to wrap my head around the feelings inside my brain- I thought I’d open it up for you all as everyone is not capable to speak up their emotions and feelings in front of anyone either their friends, family members of and of a friendly physiologist as they are afraid of confessing and facing their insecurities, fears, loses and hopeless life. Just in case let me tell you, you are not alone.
Days are divided in better and worse excluding good or might be a day in a month or two are good too. Anyway, they are just days. One spending them feels them more as thinking themselves being a burden on others by telling and sharing stuff, isolation and cutting off seems to be the best of all the given options. They say if you can’t see it, it’s not really there, as if pain does not exists, so we don’t smile and have a grin because nobody likes to talk about the tough stuff. I also don’t like to talk about the tough stuff and I have no idea, WHY!
People confuse anxiety with depression. Depression has a reason to be given. You can totally relate and give explanations what really makes you feel and the way you felt. Sometimes there is a situational depression in which a particular situation affects your whole being for the time being which one can overcome easily by removing those unwanted particulars. And most of the time they might be regrets that make you depress and lonely. Whereas you can’t relate anxiety with anything, any event, any person or any other situation. They are the uncertain panic attacks or the un-sudden feeling of being lonely while standing in a huge crowd or might be a group of very close friends. It also may occur while laughing hard with the loved ones. You can’t actually explain why. 1 out of 13 people worldwide suffer from anxiety disorder.
Some say; people who suffer from anxiety often may suffer from depression and vice versa so they pretty much go hand in hand with each other. Now of course that’s not every single case but majority of people do suffer both of them.
I have anxiety. It feels like every cell in my body is moving so fast and veins get blurry and besides listening to my own heart beat, I hear drums beating and bees buzzing all around. The world goes upside down, you feel drowning or falling of a high cliff which takes away your senses and breath away, making your mind blank and dull which takes away all of your senses to think and feel for anything even for your own existence, which results in avoiding eye contact, socializing and cutting off from even very close mates you’ve got. My anxiety feels like fire, an unexplainably hot, rash and frustrating condition inside, my feelings that don’t come up to my lips that avoid talking to anyone not because I don’t feel safe with anyone but I can hear my own self complaining of my weaknesses and inabilities to work out for myself and help myself to get out of such situations when I don’t want to get help from anyone so my self-respect doesn’t gets effected. I feel like every solution to my unknown feelings lie between lying down in my bed covering my face and closing eyes for a long time period. It feels like drowning, burning and torturing forever. Because most of the time there is no problem, there is no life or any situation or any reason, there is just feelings and I am feeling all of them at once.
Do you think you’re suffering from anxiety?
Are you constantly worried?
Do you feel like you can’t control your worry?
There are many different anxiety disorders they include;
1) GAD, general anxiety disorder
2) Panic disorder
3) Social anxiety disorder
4) Post-traumatic stress disorder
5) Obsessive-compulsive disorder
This test is designed to see if you have GAD, general anxiety disorder.
I will be asking you some questions on anxiety, the questions are as follows;
1) Do you feel like you can’t control over thinking?
2) Do you worry about everything that’s happening in your life?
3) Are you constantly on edge of falling apart?
4) Do you become tired, moody and freaked out easily?
5) Does your worry or feelings take over control on what you do or don’t do in your life?
6) Do you get everything on your nerves that easily and get hyper tensed?
7) Do you have problems concentrating and focusing on any particular task you are performing or you have to perform?
8) Do you avoid certain situations, avoid talking and socializing?
9)Do you prefer to mainly cut-off and stay isolated in a world of your own where you have to give no explanations to anyone?
10) You are in a gathering and all of a sudden you start feeling lonely and unwanted as if everyone seems fed-up of you?
11) You start feeling yourself useless. You get fed-up of your own existence and continuously think of ending up your life?
If you answer 3 or more yeses it means you are suffering from anxiety disorder.